Friday, 16 May 2008 14:17

How do you manage to feel better?
Sometimes we are foolishly feel better after seeing someone with worst condition compared with ours. Is it cruel to feel that? Instead of looking at them with compassion we are amused with their pain, realizing that we are better.

When I was sinking in my deep dissatisfaction of my current Karma, I was unconsciously feeling better when I found out someone is getting much more damages than mine cause of this HNP (the same illness as mine). At that moment nothing can entertained me, not even my PC or my game Console that usually can make me happy by killing those monsters, beating my opponents on Tekken Tournament .. nothing.

Now I just want to say sorry to those persons unknowingly got hurt by me, at least I hope their higher Self will know that I am really sorry. And I'm sorry God for being a weeper for the pain less than others suffered, I was weak, ungrateful, and now I'm intend to be stronger, so help me God.

And then I realize that maybe I'm not going to achieve my previous dreams, so I gave it up, made a new one and be happy. As long as I can do things for my own satisfaction and help others a little bit that would be enough. Which means I can improve my Karma while I still have the chance to have some funs. That's why I'm starting again to brush up my knowledge, reread old books, adding more time to meditate, and trying to invite you to take this great journey by writing this blog.

I'm quoting BhagavadGita 2.44 for my own satisfaction
"In the minds of those who are too attached to sense enjoyment and material opulence, and who are bewildered by such things, the resolute determination for devotional service to the Supreme Lord does not take place."